Post 18 – A Hustler, a Hovel and the Happiest Place on Earth
Posted on | December 24, 2009 | 11 Comments
A version of this story will also be posted on my personal blog, That Would Be Me (dot net).
Several day ago a friend posted a note about his most exotic Christmas. He spent it in Tanzania while studying birds. I don’t have any Christmas stories as exotic as his, but my first one in Los Angeles was certainly an odd one.
When I was twenty-three, I moved to Los Angeles with a dream and everything I could fit into a bright orange Ford Gran Torino station wagon that I bought for six hundred dollars and named Stanley. (Two points for anyone who can figure out why I called him Stanley.) I spent the first several nights parked on side-streets in the car, then spent a month on the living room couch of some friends from college. I got registered with a temp agency and got a job fairly quickly, then started looking for a place to stay that I could afford.
I found an apartment in Hollywood, a couple of blocks north of Hollywood Boulevard. A room, actually. The building had been built as a fourplex, two apartments upstairs and two down, but by the time I got there, the owner had started renting the individual rooms out instead of the whole apartments. I was in the back room on the first floor, just past the bathroom, and shared the bathroom and a small kitchen with everyone on that floor. The landlord charged rent weekly, thirty-four dollars a week, as I recall.
It was an interesting place. I would be woken up in the middle of the night by fist fights in the hallway. I’d find hypodermic needles (and often blood) on the sink in the bathroom. The fellow who had the room closest to me made his living (if you want to call it that) by “patrolling” Santa Monica Boulevard. He was younger than me, perhaps nineteen or twenty. I am really not sure how I managed to stay sane for the year I was there, but I was young, on my own and going somewhere with my life.
That December, my temp job ended about a week before Christmas. My Grandmother had sent me a check for Christmas, I think it was ten or fifteen dollars. It was the only money I had. My neighbor had a tiny little portable black and white television that one of his customers had given him. It was two days before Christmas. We were both sitting on his bed, the only piece of furniture in his room, watching the television. We were both depressed.
Suddenly, he looked at me and said, “Let’s go to Disneyland.” I was startled by that, and it showed. “I worked last night,” he said. “I can put gas in your car. Let’s go to Disneyland tomorrow.”
The next morning, December 24th, we filled Stanley’s gas tank, I cashed my grandmother’s check, and we drove down to Anaheim. It was a drizzly day, the kind of day most would find, at the very least, annoying, but let me assure you: The best way to experience Disneyland is the day before a Holiday when it is drizzling. The thing most people talk about when they talk about “The Happiest Place on Earth” is not the wonder of it or the fun of it. What they talk about is standing in line. The Disney “Imagineers” have turned standing in line into a high art, giving you twists and turns that reveal the line is twice, no three times, no twelve times as long as you thought when you first entered it. Standing in line is what you spend your day doing at Disneyland.
Except on a drizzly Christmas Eve day. There were no lines. The drizzle wasn’t enough to make you wet, only enough to put a sharp chill in the air that kept most people huddled up in their homes by their Christmas trees, waiting for the turkey or ham to come out of the oven. To me, though, it put a soft filter on the world, making the plastic splendor of Disneyland glow with an unreal magnificence. It felt like moving through a beautiful, Impressionist painting. Monet’s Cathedrals with men dressed as large mice.
All the attractions besides Tom Sawyer’s Island were open, and we were able to see everything we wanted, go on every ride we wanted. Neither of us had ever been to Disneyland, and I was completely enthralled by the wonder of it. This was back when you needed tickets to go one each attraction. When you entered, you received a bunch of tickets, The “E” ones for the best, scariest rides, down to the “A” ones for the mildest. Once you ran out of your tickets, you had to purchase more. Except for “A” tickets. You could get as many of those as you wanted.
I’d read about the haunted house when I was in grade school and had always wanted to experience it. It lived up to my expectations and more. It was thrilling. It was an “E” ride. I also fell in love with the Peter Pan ride, where you board a boat and fly over the rooftops of London. That was an “A” ride, but became one of my favorites.
The Disney film studios had just put out the move, The Black Hole, and everywhere we went in the park were ads and posters for it. On the way back home, we stopped at a nice Italian restaurant for dinner, then, when we got back to Hollywood, went to the Chinese Theatre to watch The Black Hole. It wasn’t a great movie, but it was a good ending to the wonderful, surreal day.
It was a magical, perfect, drizzly Christmas Eve Day. I’ve been back to Disneyland many times but it has never seemed so full of wonder and magic. And the irony of experiencing the home of Mary Poppins on funds derived from illicit activities only added to the surreal joy of it all.
Tomorrow, a warped Christmas story.
~Geoff Hoff
Co-author of such how-to guides as On Writing With a Partner and On Writing a Short Story.
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December 24th, 2009 @ 3:43 pm
What a wonderful, heartwarming post! I have to share my own Disney experience, which is similar on quite a few levels.
My mom had always wanted to take me to Disneyworld (is that the one in FL?)when I was a little girl but our finances wouldn’t allow it. By the time I was in my 30′s, we had both given up on the dream of going together as mother and daughter.
Because my mom had a health scare, we signed for our first cruise. The cruise was leaving out of Florida and as an afterthought, we decided we would arrive one day early to make a quick trip to Disneyworld.
Even though we were only there from 6-9 pm, I can honestly say that that day was one of the best of my life so far. It was raining like in your story but the rain came in scatter, hard showers. Just as we saw the Magic Castle for the first time, the sun peeked its head out for the only time that day. I had finally made it to Disney with my mom!
The lines were short and sometimes non-existent. The workers would say “Hey, wanna ride it again?” as we got off many of the rides. We barely noticed the rain because we were so happy to be there. We got to see and ride every single thing that was important to us and that we had always dreamed of. (Peter Pan was one of our favorites too!) And I think one of the best things for both of us is that I still saw everything through my “kid eyes” and experienced it all with genuine childlike excitement. My mom finally got to take her little girl to Disneyworld.
Didn’t mean to go on so long… both our stories brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing such unexpectedly wonderful memories!
December 24th, 2009 @ 4:14 pm
Kelly, thanks for sharing your story. (Yes, Disneyworld is the one in Florida.) It is absolutely not too long. It did have much in common with my story, also, except that you can’t say you had your way paid for by a male hustler!
(What a wonderful thing to be able to say. I wonder what has happened to him. Haven’t seen him since I moved out to an actual apartment with my own bathroom and kitchen, and no hypodermic needles.)
Geoff´s last blog ..A Hustler, a Hovel and the Happiest Place on Earth
December 25th, 2009 @ 8:19 am
Hi Geoff, what an amazing story! If I should ever go to Disney World I would choose a day like the one you describe! Thank you for sharing, and linking to my post as well!
Claus
Claus D Jensen´s last blog ..How to Calculate Customer Lifetime Value
December 25th, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
This is a great Christmas Story. I have been to both Disneyworld and Disneyland, the magic kingoms.
A Street Car Named Desire?
Sheila
Sheila Atwood´s last blog ..How To Work At Home
December 25th, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
Claus – it’s not quite the same without the hustler along paying your way, but, yes, a drizzly day is the day to go!
Sheila, your tag made me laugh. I like to laugh. Thank you.
Geoff
December 25th, 2009 @ 6:30 pm
I see, that was your guess. Sorry, I lost my head. Nope, not Streetcar, although that was a good guess. I could give a hint, but that might give it up too easily. If no one gets it, I will give a hint. I’m nice that way.
Geoff´s last blog ..Wage War on Christmas – A Warped Holiday Story
December 25th, 2009 @ 7:00 pm
Geoff -
What an amazing story! I’m a big fan of Disneyland and Walt Disney World from two angles, one is just as somebody who loves cool experiences, the other is as a theatrical designer.
When I walk through one of the Disney parks I’m always amazed by the details that add together to tell stories so completely. This is certainly true of major attractions like the Haunted Mansion, but it’s equally true of the buildings on Main Street USA — created with forced perspective to make the street look bigger and longer than it is, and make the castle look bigger than it is as you walk into the park, but also to make the street look shorter than it is as you walk out exhausted at the end of the day. It really is amazing
Thanks for sharing such a great story,
Andy
http://binauraljourneys.com
Andy Dolph´s last blog ..Confidence Hypnosis – A gift from Wendi!
December 25th, 2009 @ 7:10 pm
Thanks, Andy. Yes, the stagecraft of the Disney people is amazing. I’ve been often enough, now, that most of the glow has faded for me, sadly. Of course, it’s been several years. Who knows, maybe I should venture forth again. Like a lot in life, though, it will never be like the first time.
Geoff´s last blog ..Wage War on Christmas – A Warped Holiday Story
December 25th, 2009 @ 9:24 pm
yes – I do understand that – you’re on the west coast, right? so it’s Disneyland you’re talking about? If so, I might wait another couple of years till most of the California Adventure renovations are done – it sounds like it’s going to be quite cool – they are putting over 1 billion dollars into that park over the past couple and next couple years – I think scheduled to be done in 2011 or 2012….
Andy
Andy Dolph´s last blog ..Confidence Hypnosis – A gift from Wendi!
December 25th, 2009 @ 9:30 pm
Never been to California Adventure Park. Why go to a recreation of the Redwood Forest when the real one is so close by? Or the Golden Gate Bridge. Or Hollywood, for goodness’ sake. I live fifteen minutes from Hollywood. Ten if traffic is good. I live an hour from Disneyland. Okay, rant done. When you do come west for Disney and other things, let me know! I might join you. Even to the Adventure Park, who knows!
Geoff´s last blog ..Wage War on Christmas – A Warped Holiday Story
January 13th, 2010 @ 9:17 am
Just so you know, the answer to the Stanley issue has been solved. By my younger brother. Who already knew the answer, so he only got two points.
It’s over at the “other” blog: http://www.thatwouldbeme.net/2009/12/a-hustler-a-hovel-and-the-happiest-place-on-earth/#comments
Geoff´s last blog ..Wage War on Christmas – A Warped Holiday Story